I keep asking if someone put me here (what if nobody did?)
I look toward the sky whenever I need an answer (what if the sky has never answered anyone?)
I want to believe my life was meant to happen (what if nothing was ever meant to happen?)
I tell myself there must be a reason for all of this (what if there is no reason at all?)
I pray because I don't know what else to do with my fear (what if prayer is only fear speaking to itself?)
I wonder if God hears me when I whisper at night (what if there is only a ceiling above you?)
I want to believe the people I lose are somewhere waiting (what if death is simply the end?)
I want to believe love survives beyond the body (what if everything disappears with the body?)
I ask God why some people suffer (what if suffering has no explanation?)
I search for a lesson inside every loss (what if some losses teach nothing?)
I call certain moments miracles (what if they were only coincidences?)
I think faith gives shape to the darkness (what if the darkness needs no shape?)
I am frightened by the thought that God may not exist (I am frightened by the thought that He might)
I don't know whether I believe because I have faith (or because I am afraid of having none)
I want something greater than myself to make this life matter (what if this life does not need to matter to anyone but you?)
I want to know that my existence was witnessed (what if being here is enough, even unwitnessed?)
I keep looking for God in the silence (what if the silence is all there is?)
I keep asking the silence to speak (what if it never promised to?)
And still, I wake up the next morning (though nothing requires me to)
I still love people knowing I will lose them (though nothing guarantees the love will outlive them)
I still pray knowing I may never receive an answer (though perhaps an unanswered prayer is still a prayer)
I still believe knowing I may be wrong (and I still doubt knowing I may be wrong)
Perhaps faith is not knowing (perhaps disbelief is not knowing either)
Perhaps God exists beyond what I can understand (perhaps there is nothing beyond what I can understand)
Perhaps I will never know which of us is right (perhaps there is no right answer waiting)
But I can still choose how I live beneath this sky (even if the sky remains indifferent)
I can still love without proof that love has a purpose (I can still love precisely because nothing promised me one)
I can still believe without certainty (I can still live without certainty)
And maybe I don't need the universe to answer me (maybe I only need to answer what I will do with its silence)
Maybe God is there (maybe God isn't)
Maybe this life was given to me (maybe this life simply happened)
Either way, I am here (and somehow, I am still here)
So I will keep asking (and keep living without an answer)
I will keep believing (and keep doubting)
I will keep looking upward (even if nothing looks back)
Because the strangest act of faith is not believing in God (but choosing to live when the universe gives you no reason to).
