okay, so maybe this sounds stupid but I think I finally figured it out a little… or maybe not figured out figured out, but understood enough to breathe easier tonight.
because for so long, I genuinely thought life was supposed to become something huge someday. like one day, suddenly everything would make sense and I’d become this sorted, intelligent person with a perfect routine, healed heart, clear skin, stable emotions and ambitions all lined up neatly like books on a shelf.
but agh, that day never came.
instead, life kept happening in pieces. messy, random, inconvenient pieces. and maybe that’s when it hit me..what if the purpose was never to become this perfect, untouchable version of myself? what if it’s just… to leave bits of myself everywhere, lovingly. like little fingerprints of existence.
like laughing too loudly in serious moments. sending paragraphs people reread years later. making someone feel less alone for five minutes. sharing songs that sound like rainy evenings.
because honestly, when I think about people I love, I don’t remember their achievements first. I remember the way they laughed mid sentence. the way they made ordinary walks feel cinematic. the way they noticed tiny things. the way they stayed.
and maybe that’s all humans are supposed to do. stay soft enough to leave warmth behind.
I don’t know. I just think life feels lighter after realizing this. like maybe I don’t need to constantly become more, and more, and more. maybe I just need to exist fully. beautifully sometimes, ridiculously most times.
because god, I am ridiculous.
I cry over songs. I romanticize grocery stores when the lighting feels poetic. I get emotionally attached to random conversations. I stare at the moon like it personally understands me. I save screenshots of words that make my chest ache.
and for the longest time, I thought these things made me weak or unserious. but maybe this is the magic.
maybe being deeply alive is the magic. maybe noticing things is the magic. maybe caring this much, despite everything, is the magic.
and maybe the purpose of life is literally just that.. to sprinkle your strange little soul onto this exhausted world before you leave it. through love. through humour. through art. through kindness. through the way you make people feel seen.
I don’t know. I’m still confused about almost everything else. career. future. people. myself.
but tonight, this thought made me feel strangely peaceful. like maybe I don’t have to conquer life.
maybe I just have to touch it gently while I’m here.
8May 21, 2026 346 3 2
