+What if I see it? What if I finally look at him the way he has been looking at me all this time? What if I stop dismissing it as gratitude,as loyalty, as some strange devotion that will eventually pass?What if I see the love in his eyes for what it truly is? What if I feel it...not merely in the way he watches me but somewhere beneath my skin, in my veins, in that instinctive part of me that knows when someone is reaching for me without ever touching me? What if I accept that he loves me? What if I let myself believe that of all people he has chosen me, completely, despite everything he has lost, despite everything I could ever do to him? And what then, huh? What if I let him come closer? What if I let myself believe that someone could love me like that, and for one selfish moment, I let myself be loved?
What if I give him one reason to hope, one moment in which I look back at him and don’t turn away? What if that is enough to make him build an entire life around me-which we both know very well that he would do it without hesitation...What if I become the thing he would bleed for, die for, destroy himself for? What if I take that love knowing I cannot return it in the same way and perfectly teach him how badly he can be hurt by me? What if I become the wound he spends the rest of his life pretending doesn’t hurt? What if I see how desperately he loves me—and the worst thing I could ever do is let him know that I saw it? What if I accept his love simply because, for once, it feels beautiful to be loved like that? And what if,… the one who gets destroyed by it is the owner of that damn rare fucking love you are taking about ?him
