TIME TO CONJURE UP THE GOOD SPIRIT
Howard had been a generous, kind and loyal
friend for many years, but then about a year and
a half ago he began acting different. He seemed
turned in on himself all the time, dispirited
and gloomy. One day he sold his motorcycle busi-
ness. He called me and told me he was going to
take a trip around the world. He told me he was
going to find himself. I said, “Oh, come on, Howard.
At your age you know yourself perfectly well.” He
said he was lost. And I said, “Good luck.” He got
back a week ago and soon asked if we could get
together. In our favorite bar, I said, “So how
was the trip?” “I found myself,” he said. “Good,”
I said. “No, Dean. It’s not pretty.” “What’s
not pretty?” I asked. “I’m not pretty.” “I’ve
always thought you were pretty cute, I don’t know
if I would go so far as to call you pretty.” “Dean,
listen to me. I found out who I really am. I’m
a coward. I lie. I’m not trustworthy. And I’m
terrified of love.” “Well, I could have told you
all of that, Howard. You didn’t have to go all the way
around the world to find that out. That’s just who
you are. Now tell me the good stuff, tell me about
the babes, tell me about the adventures, the most
beautiful places in the world.” Howard stared at
me for a moment, and then he started to talk, slowly
at first, and then faster and faster until finally
it was a blur of incredible images, larger-than-
life people, hilarious getaways in the night, Howard
on camels and elephants, Howard boxing sharks in
the nose, Howard, glorious Howard.
#james_tate
