Is it okay to stay with your thoughts?
I have so many little and big ideas, especially when I end up in liminal spaces like trains or plains. Neither in point A nor in point B. I have these thoughts and I remember how I used to write them down — lines after lines I had the whole books full of thoughts. But do they need to be put somewhere?
From time to time I have an urge to type it down, but do I really need to? What is it about? Why a thought that barely leaves any trace and disappears in a row of crochet project is worse than the one put on social media?
I’m hesitant to answer. I hate any material that starts with “in moderns society we…”. Society is a breathing organism that has been always changing, and capitalism doesn’t make it the worse ages we ever experienced as humanity (hot take). BUT. My feeling that in modern days we commodified the thought. Can it be used? Turned into revenues? Generate a product? Type it down and put a name on it
On the other hand I don’t want to be a pretentious (person) who just goes on about commodifying things. The very big part of being scared to put down a word is a fear — fear to put inner processes into a shape. And even bigger fear to share it with others. What if they don’t appreciate it? The very idea of me even thinking about others not LOVING my ideas makes me nauseous. I’m not ready to rip my souls apart and present my naked self — vulnerable and ready to judge. Maybe I should
Maybe the dramatic persona inside me that used to write all the time and think about the world with a precious mixture of romanticism and cynicism is ready to reaper. I buried her together with fear, shame, sadness and weakness but maybe I’m one step closer to learn from her
