Life is literally unbearable a lot of the time. Good things happen now and then, but they seem like something that's only aimed to make everything else hurt more in comparison. It's like yeah, this and that small sweet moment was real and I genuinely tried to enjoy it, instead of just being nonchalant about it - because I'm a living and breathing human who still remembers that I am capable of happiness, even if for short periods, no matter what, and don't wanna miss out on it. But then I feel hurt, hurt is not all I feel, but all I am, yet my pain is turned into nothing, because I had those moments of grasping onto small sparks of happiness. And I am pronounced psychotic and manipulative, because when I have a chance to feel better, a little bit happier, a little bit inspired, those are signs of me faking all my other pain. But it doesn't work like that.
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1May 30, 2026 281 5 2
