I have have done pretty bad things and no one has ever found out
I manipulated all my friends for 4 years, over 20 people, and they never found out, I made them think I was such a great person and kept going with more lies and more lies, It started where I began telling lies about how great I was, they believed it and treated me differently, I was abusing of their trust for the entire time, making them cry laugh with jokes, using my reputation as a shield against critics. I have never felt happy, it all started before when I just began feeling nothing, no excitement nor sadness whatsoever for days and I almost go crazy, I don't remember the last time I was happy, I can of course feel espontaneous happines, but that is all. I hate anyone I meet instantly, I think they are gonna use me. I feel like my mind is gonna break, as if someone smashed it with pieces and took many of them, I feel as if I had paranoia, I feel followed. I have masks, everyone thinks well of me for them, otherwise I would be absolutly miserable.
They all think I'm an angel, and so innocent I don't even know what sex is. I made my reputation a lie. I'm a coward, I use people I love for my own benefit.
I always hate people i meet, I feel as they got bad intentions, and even my friends and family, I have to think myself into not insulting them.
I have thought about ending it, I have the perfect life, I have everything yet I'm not happy. I think I'm a god, I'm a narcissist, a sociopath, a manipulator, an utter horrible human being.
I have trouble eating, I weight 37kg and 163cm, but with my lies, my family thinks I'm 45kg.
I'm doing it right now, using things that happen to me to generate empathy.
I don't have a personality, I just adapt to the enviroment.
7August 24, 2026 1.9K 2
