“If you hold a negative view of men or women in general, you will find and attract precisely those kinds of men and women. This is why people who have very low opinions of men/women end up in cycles of toxic relationships that they don't desire.
If you hold deep appreciation and love and reverence for the sex you're attracted to, you genuinely appreciate men or women, you feel safe with them, love them, & value them - you will attract more high-quality partners.
Also, having the self-worth to say no to people who don't match your desires is critical, too. Why is this true? Because if you hold a negative view of men or women, you will LOOK for that, even in men and women who don't have those traits.
If that's you, it's likely some relationship trauma from your past is being projected onto the present. When you find men or women who match your negative ideas of men or women, it will confirm your negative orientation and bias.
Yes, good men and women are out there, but typically, they'll be turned off if you approach them as if they're evil/selfish/the enemy. Which is a massive turn-off for anyone with self-esteem and secure attachment. Your negative lens of men or women will even repel the good ones.
Change your beliefs about men and women through healing your relationship traumas and your relationship to yourself if you want to attract the relationship of your dreams.”
-Laura Matsue
Related to Episode 89, Part 2 – 5 Ways To Improve Your Relationships
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