Second,
Focused living
At the 6km mark I was thinking of finishing with better timing. I have already crossed so many runners and my mind started thinking about a good ranking.
Then came the 7th km at 4000 meters altitude and I was hit by severe AMS. And Within a sec my mind started saying - stop and quit.
Inform the doctors available at the next hydration point that you are feeling that you might die the next moment.
The best practical solution for AMS is descend and what I was doing - going up!
I don't know from where that thought came to my mind -
Go beyond this limited existence of mind and body.
And I kept moving because of this thought only.
Every step made my symptoms worse. Every step also was taking me closer to disaster.
Initially it was the struggle to breath then dizziness then body stared shaking then unable to hold anything in my hands and finally swelled hands. And I thought that maybe today is your last day.
But I kept moving.
I avoided stopping at hydration point because of the fear of being stopped by the army personnel.
And I kept moving.
I should have stopped and quit the race for sure but I was trying to see how far my body can move in such a situation.
My rational mind kept on shouting - stop and quit.
One/ any race is not worth risking your life.
But I kept moving.
If you feel that I was not fearing then you are wrong. I was fearing like hell but I kept moving. During those tough times I decided not to think about quitting but how to keep on moving.
I gave two points of reasoning to my mind - if others are not able to see that I am hit by AMS then maybe I should keep moving. Secondly, if I go down with AMS then army Doctors are available en route they may save my life.
I ran with this situation till 28km, around more than 4.5 hrs.
The more I used to push the more strength I started getting...
